When you are in pain, you don’t need to be fixed. You don’t need to be labeled as broken, your feelings shoved into codified lists or prescribed stages. You don’t need to be pushed to get better fast. What you need are those things, those people, those places, those words, that come up underneath you and give you roots. You need those things that nourish you, that help you do the work your heart already knows how to do—the work it is already doing.”
—Megan Devine, author of It’s OK That You’re Not OK, interview, Huffington Post
There’s a difference between grieving and mourning. Grief is the unpredictable emotion of loss that can come unexpectedly. Mourning is the way we create space and time for grief. It’s the memorial service with a date and time, the empty chair we set at the table at Thanksgiving, the playlist of songs that takes us back to what it was like to be together. Mourning won’t always protect us from moments of overwhelm, but it will help us avoid the denial that lands us in depression, addiction, rage, weight gain or loss, estrangement, etc., as we do pain management.
The church longs to be “those things, those people, those places, those words, that come up underneath you and give you roots,” so we invite you to these three opportunities:
Sunday, November 3, is All Saints Sunday—a sacred day for remembering and thanking God for the irreplaceable people who have died in the previous year. We will see their faces, call their names, and stand in the solidarity of shared grief and gratitude.
Friday, November 14, we’ll gather in the Parlor from 10am until 2pm for a day retreat to learn what is happening when we grieve and how our faith can inform our mourning. New church member Dr. David Jones is a therapist who specializes in grief and trauma. He will help us understand what is happening in our brains and our bodies when we grieve and what constitutes healthy mourning so we can prepare for the coming holidays. I will highlight some of what the Bible has to offer grieving people. A delicious lunch and other comforts will be provided. Just let us know we can expect you by calling the church office or registering here: https://tinyurl.com/GriefRetreat25.
Wednesday, December 3, our Wednesdays@First program will acknowledge that the traditional season of joy is full of sadness for some—and offer loving support. Make a dinner reservation, or bring your own meal, and join us.
Please say yes to one or all of these invitations to receive comfort, consolation, wisdom, and nourishment as you grieve! Mourning is not a cure, but it holds the promise of transformation!
—Kyle Matthews, Minister of Pastoral Care