After years of writing articles admonishing us to care well for others and ourselves, the installation of our new Senior Minister Dr. McEntyre has made me realize I’ve never written about minister care. You might be surprised to know that the gifts that help your ministers the most are actually habits of relating. I share these suggestions knowing how much we all want to care for our hard-working staff of servant-minded people-pleasers!
The gift of being direct: Some people are so conflict-averse that they routinely go to a third party to avoid direct communication. Therapists call it “triangulation,” because it’s toxic to relationships, erodes trust, and avoids our most basic responsibility to be honest with one another. Jesus said “go directly” (Mt. 5:24), and Paul wrote: speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15).
The gift of utilizing the staff structure: There is too much going on at FBG for each minister to retain all details, so it’s a gift when church members go directly to the right department.
Most answers are readily available at our website, in the weekly Branch newsletter, or at the main number where you can be directed to the proper department. Some of our departments have ministry assistants who can often help you.
The gift of rationing communiques: During the pandemic, we ministers often used our cell phones and personal emails out of necessity. As we’ve returned to the office it is a gift to us when members choose modes of communication that help us regain a sustainable work/life balance. For example:
- Emails are great for non-urgent business because it gives us a paper trail, but they are terrible for issues of conflict or complaint!
- Avoid “reply all” unless necessary. It adds another email to the inboxes of everyone in the thread.
- Texts are good for quick questions and reminders that don’t require a phone call but not for long conversations or important information to be retained.
- Emergency phone calls made after-hours or on weekends are to the Pastor on Call through the Pastoral Care Emergency extension, 864-233-2527 opt. 2, ext. 199.
- Our church office phone numbers are always preferable to our cell phones.
The gift of sharing your background: We relish the chance to get to know you, but we also need the grace of not being expected to remember everything, and the occasional reminder is a deeply appreciated gift!
The gift of prayer: Of course, the #1 thing you can do is to simply pause to pray for us. Prayer helps us all to examine our needs and feelings before we speak or react, to seek wisdom about how best to engage our fellow members and ministers alike!
—Kyle