Since returning to work (and restaurants and grocery shopping and life, in general), I’ve enjoyed running into friends and exchanging hugs and stories. Just for fun, here are some of the FAQs (frequently asked questions) I’ve been asked… in case I haven’t run into you yet.
Can we bring you casseroles now?
Was your time away considered ‘vacation days’ by the Personnel Committee?
Uh… no.
Are you sure you can return to such a stressful job after such a major surgery?
Of course! Apparently, I was operating on 30% coronary blood flow for the last few years. Can you imagine how effective I’ll be now at 100%?!?
Do you have a scar?
Yes. I look like I’ve been cut (I have) and shot three times (I haven’t). On our next trip to the beach, I’m looking forward to telling lies to the grandchildren about my former life in the CIA.
Have there been any humorous moments in all this?
(You know me too well. There are always humorous moments.) The funniest moment was when the discharge nurse told me, “…and you can resume sexual activity when you are able to comfortably climb a flight of stairs.” I thoughtfully responded, “Well, I’m a priest, but I’ll be sure and tell the diaconate you gave me permission.”
Have you lost weight?
Yes…but I wouldn’t recommend heart surgery as a diet plan.
Will you be able to resume athletic training?
I’m free of all physical restrictions on August 17. I’m already planning my next bike tour, dreaming of my next triathlon, and contemplating a surfing vacation. I’m not interested in coronary artery disease having the last word.
Did you miss us?
You must be kidding. Of course, I did…

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