A couple of Sundays ago, Andy Jung from the Fuller Youth Institute invited our youth into a conversation about trust and home. Our middle schoolers discussed what is necessary to have a trustworthy relationship. Their answers echoed what Fuller Youth Institute heard from nearly 3,000 young people nationwide. The leading answer was “listening without judging me.” Close behind were “respecting my opinion, even when we disagree” and “following through on what they say.”
When our high schoolers explored what feels like home, they spoke specifically of their bedrooms as a place to retreat when they are overwhelmed, tired or “peopled out.” A space where they feel safe, listen to their music and relax. They also shared that for them to choose to “go out” or “leave home,” an invitation matters: even when they need time alone, knowing their friends want them there matters and can help them step back into community.
I keep thinking about their answers and how much they offer all of us. At every age, we need trustworthy relationships where we are heard without judgment and met with care. When we trust someone, we can share something we might otherwise carry alone. We need folks around us who welcome our company while understanding our weariness. Those moments when we want both time alone and to hear someone say, “we’d love for you to come.”
This week, give someone your unhurried attention. Ask a question and create space for the answer. Consider what becomes possible when someone trusts that you will listen. Your care may be the place where they finally take a breath.
Mary Carol Anderson, Minister of Youth and College