The season of thanksgiving (with and without a capital “T”) has me reflecting on gratitude. In her book Grateful, church historian Diana Butler Bass explores gratitude. She begins by tracing its history and recounts that, historically, gratitude was tied to a system of debt and duty. Take, for example, the Roman Empire, where Jesus lived. In that world, a clear hierarchical structure dominated society. At the top sat the emperor, the ultimate benefactor, who dispensed gifts and benefits downward through the ranks of nobles, soldiers and peasants. However, these gifts came with an expectation of loyalty, taxes and further obligations that flowed upward, ultimately reinforcing the emperor’s power. Gratitude, in this system, was transactional; people gave to receive, and gratitude was bound up with duty.
In some ways, we see echoes of this system of gratitude and duty in our culture today. If someone buys you lunch, what do you often say? “I will get the next one.” If someone gives you a gift and you do not have one for them, you might feel guilty or even rush to purchase something out of obligation. Sometimes, gratitude still feels like a commodity of exchange. In fact, the dictionary’s second definition of gratitude reflects this transactional nature: “a readiness to show appreciation for and return kindness.”
Diana Butler Bass suggests that our Christian tradition offers a different model of gratitude based on gift and response rather than debt and duty. She explains that the word gratitude and the word grace come from the same root word. Unlike the standard model of gratitude, which is a closed cycle of gift and return bound by social obligation and indebtedness, gratitude rooted in grace invites us to move beyond obligation and into the freedom of giving and receiving. As Paul reminds us in Romans, “By the free gift of God’s grace, all are put right with him through Christ Jesus.” God has freely given us grace, mercy and love in abundance. When we open ourselves up to receive from God’s bounty, which we could never fully repay, we begin to understand the Christian model of gratitude. This kind of gratitude invites us to embrace mutual reliance—on God and one another—understanding that our well-being is deeply interconnected. We are never really independent, no matter how much we would like to believe we are. We need each other, so the spiritual task of gratitude is to learn to receive and give more freely with no strings attached, to be grateful for the kindness of others who help us along the way, and to give generously when we can. Gratitude, then, is about learning to receive with humility and to give with generosity. This week, I invite you to reflect on the Christian model of gratitude:
Think about those who have given to you without expecting anything in return: mentors, friends or strangers whose generosity shaped your life. How have these moments taught you about grace?
Consider times you have given freely to others: time, love or resources without expecting repayment. How did this reflect God’s abundance in your life?
—Carol